There Are No Walls in the House of Jearl

There Are No Walls in the House of Jearl - Mystery DVD #71

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February 19th, 2006

09:49 pm

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Mystery DVD #71
Dirty Love

Oh, it hurt me with the badness. Written by and starring Jenny McCarthy as a struggling photographer in Hollywood, whose supermodel boyfriend cheats on her and then destroys all her camera equipment because he's a dick. Instead of just burning his house down she decides to get revenge by dating men where he can see them. Because that would work. Her assistant is a sweet goober who loves her, so you know where this is going. It gets there with 7.5 minutes left to go in the film. First there are 83.5 minutes of horrible bad dates, histrionics, painful humiliations and menstruation jokes. It was the same order of business as The Sweetest Thing (reviewed here, back when I was young and innocent) except there was only really one musical number and it was not an utter crime against song. It's hot ladies behaving badly and also moronically. Hubris, pratfall, punishment and reward. Good times.

I have to admit that Jenny McCarthy can be a really funny physical comic, and she is willing to surrender all dignity, which opens up some storytelling options. But this story is terrible, and the acting made me want to eat a cordless drill. It's an orgy of humiliation humor, incuding JM getting puked on, so if you get schadenfreude better than I do, this might be pretty fun. Honestly, it's got some pretty funny scenes, which made the horrible plot even sadder. I laughed a bunch of times. I also hid behind a cat a fair amount.

Carmen Electra is in it as a muy mas macha 'hip-hop hairdresser' with an all-over-the-place accent, and I love forever the person who decided to have someone say 'You do know that you're white, right?' to her face. Yes, even if you wrote that line, Jenny McCarthy. There can be peace between us. I've seen your movie now, so it's like we're sisters. We can stand out on a dock somewhere and scream "TOUCH MY BASS!" out into the night and laugh till we fall over.

And then I'll make you eat some damn pancakes.

Tags: dvd review

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Comments

From:	magdalene1
Date:	February 20th, 2006 03:13 am (UTC)

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I love you and your movie reviews so much.

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From:	jearl
Date:	February 20th, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)

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yee, thanks!

I love reading about your film school adventures.

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From:	kcobweb
Date:	February 20th, 2006 03:49 am (UTC)

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the acting made me want to eat a cordless drill

I can't stop laughing at this line.

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From:	jearl
Date:	February 20th, 2006 04:03 am (UTC)

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They make all these piercing shrieks. Gah.

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From:	markm
Date:	February 21st, 2006 04:00 am (UTC)

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mmm... pancakes

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From:	jearl
Date:	February 21st, 2006 04:17 am (UTC)

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Breakfast makes everything better.

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