There Are No Walls in the House of Jearl - Mystery DVD #117

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September 17th, 2007
09:58 pm

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Mystery DVD #117
Beerfest: Unrated
Okay, this is the most offensive movie I've seen in a long time, but it's also hilarious. Disgusting, stupid and well-timed humor. Hey, check out the IMDB.com keywords!
Plot Keywords:
Breasts / Drinking / Binge Drinking / Contest / Germany
In that order! the internet is so helpful.

Two German-American brothers return to the old country to put their grandfather's ashes to rest at Oktoberfest. They discover that their heritage includes a secret drinking competition called Beerfest. The reigning German champions call their grandfather (Donald Sutherland) a thief and their great-grandmother (Cloris Leachman) a whore. Clearly the only way for them to regain their honor is to form an American beer-drinking team and win Beerfest. On the way they masturbate frogs, beergoggle disastrously, urinate on bystanders, challenge underage partygoers to "I Never," clone monkey hybrids and fistfight a woman. Really, it's wrong, very wrong, in basically every way. I'm still offended. Starting to feel guilty about being amused. SO FUNNY. Going to hell.

Most of the breasts are pretty early on in the film. Most of Cloris Leachman talking dirty is about two-thirds in. In case that helps.

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From:[info]ellinor
Date:September 18th, 2007 06:16 am (UTC)
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Here's one combination of words in order I never thought I'd see, ever ever ever: "Most of Cloris Leachman talking dirty is about two-thirds in. In case that helps."
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From:[info]dulinor
Date:September 18th, 2007 03:34 pm (UTC)

Calibrate the scale of offensiveness

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Better or worse than:

The Sweetest Thing?

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From:[info]jearl
Date:September 18th, 2007 03:41 pm (UTC)

Re: Calibrate the scale of offensiveness

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oh, man. Tough call.
I think Beerfest had a larger number of offensive moments, but that The Sweetest Thing dropped much bigger bombs of wrongness. Oh, man, Selma Blair. Selma Blair. Fire your agent. Go back in time and fire him.

The ultimate test: if I had to watch one of these choices with my mother I would pick Beerfest.
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From:[info]dulinor
Date:September 18th, 2007 04:07 pm (UTC)

My favorite bit

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Landfill 2, you're twice the man Landfill 1 was!
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From:[info]boylawyer
Date:September 18th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
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What we really want to know is...where does it fall on the Totally Subjective Biaxial Entertainingness Scatterplot?

I'm guessing heavy on the Bad and maybe halfway up the Awesome?

I am going to have to spend waaaaaay too much time divesting my brain of the phrase "masturbate frogs" this morning.
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From:[info]jearl
Date:September 18th, 2007 04:24 pm (UTC)
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I'm always happy to pass the wrongness on to my readers.

It was actually not super bad. Trending badwards, let's say. Pretty awesome. There's a scent where they knock over an entire tent at Oktoberfest while causing a chain of ladies to lose their tops. It's both an impressive set piece and a highly localized spike of awesome.
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From:[info]boylawyer
Date:September 18th, 2007 09:47 pm (UTC)
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There's a scent where they knock over an entire tent at Oktoberfest while causing a chain of ladies to lose their tops

Wow, this movie was totally on HBO in 1985! That kind of scene was essentially their entire prime-time programming!
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From:[info]jearl
Date:September 18th, 2007 10:13 pm (UTC)
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It was kind of high-budget Benny Hill, only with a crowd of drunken Australians.
Also, I wrote 'scent?' scene, of course. I don't want to imagine any scents.
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From:[info]jrw
Date:September 18th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
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What is "I Never"?
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From:[info]jearl
Date:September 18th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
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"I Never" is a drinking game. Players take turns making a declaration in the form of "I never [something]" and any player who has done [something] takes a drink. It inevitably devolves to stuff like "I never had sex with anyone in this room."
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